Young Women Out Reach

“I wish so much that I would have just walked away the first time my friends exposed me to pornography and masturbation.”

I found out about masturbation accidentally while I was self-exploring because of curiosity as a child. At age twelve,  my addiction to masturbation escalated to an almost daily ritual when exposed to pornography.

I was exposed to mature subjects very early; that is, puberty, PG-13 movies, and the idea of "sneaking out" or skipping class. Walking in on a family member, I was also introduced to sex at a very early age. A few months later, I was spending the night at my friend's house channel surfing and I came across a "soft porn" channel. My friend asked me if I wanted to go upstairs to masturbate after watching it. Now, of course, I was completely embarrassed and mortified. I guess I just gave her a blank stare—she went into full detail on how to best satisfy yourself. After that night I was hooked. Even my friend was watching it, so it couldn't be too bad, right? My friends made watching porn seem normal, whether it was videos, books, or magazines. Prior to being introduced to porn and masturbation, it was a subject that never really had a spotlight in my world. However, after that, if a guy had a magazine it was just looked at as a progression to his adulthood or maturity. Guys watching porn was even joked about between friends. It felt like you would be ridiculed if you didn't watch porn or masturbate. Peers would call you a prude or a nun and tell you to go live in a convent.

In high school, God touched my heart that masturbation and porn was wrong. So I countered these thoughts with reasoning that I was masturbating to practice abstinence and explore my body.

Where does it say in the Bible to not masturbate, look at pornography, or read erotica?

"So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery, idolatry and witchcraft, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy, drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God" (Galatians 5:16-21).

The Bible doesn't specifically state anything about masturbation, erotica, or pornography. But it does state that lust and acts of the flesh (sex with your body) are a sin. So whether you are having sex with someone else or yourself, it is still wrong unless married to the opposite sex.

When I was younger, I didn't associate sexual fantasies with masturbation; that part came later, after pornography. I was married right out of high school to my first sexual partner. My husband continued to watch porn after we were married. However, I had stopped watching porn and masturbating because I relyed upon my husband to satisfy my sexual desire. At the time, I didn't realize that his porn and masturbation was impacting my whole outlook on men and myself. I hated the way I looked and felt that I was not attractive to him or anyone else. Second guessing myself, I felt that my husband was not sexually satisfied with me. There was a time when I had become borderline anorexic so I could look like the girls my husband was watching in pornography. It had set unrealistic and unhealthy standards for myself.

I was never truly able to break free from my addiction until my marriage collapsed. All of this could have been avoided if I would have been educated properly about the dangers of masturbation and pornography.

WE ARE HERE TO BE USED AS THE LORD'S TOOL TO TEACH YOU HIS WORD. Break free from the chains of bondage. Pornography isn't worth the pain of a failed marriage and the endeavors of an empty life filled with mentally forced impulsive thoughts of self-doubt and unrealistic standards for yourself and others around you.

- Shelley/Oklahoma City, OK

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